There is much discussion about whether Christians and Muslims should marry each other. Some think interfaith relationships are a bad idea; others have no problem with them.
However, there is no doubt that it can be very challenging for interfaith couples. They often have to deal with some degree of opposition from one or both of the families, and may feel uncertain about how they will keep practising their faith when they marry. Then, when they eventually marry, they have to deal with the religious differences and make sure they can raise their kids with some sort of balance and with cooperation from their spouse.
People who are married to someone of a different faith often did not initially expect to do so. They wanted to marry someone of their faith. But then they met someone they loved and realised that this is the person they would be happy with, that this was the right person for them. That changed the equation.
Some women hesitate to marry outside their faith at first because they think the man would later try to make them switch faith. But a good tip is to talk it over with the man beforehand and spend sufficient time studying him to be sure you won’t have to worry about practising your faith. But what really matters is for the couple to handle things with love and understanding for each other.
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The part where children come in is interesting too. Parents tend to impose their religion on their kids without letting the kids choose for themselves when they’re old enough for that. But should you be the one to determine what religion your kid practises? Why not let them make that decision for themselves when they’re old enough to do so? Everyone has the right to choose their own religion, and parents shouldn’t deprive their children of this right.
Perhaps the most important thing is not just to find someone who shares your faith, but to find someone who’s the right person for you — someone who’s meant to be your husband or wife even if they do not belong to your faith.
So it’s not just about sharing the same faith, but also about sharing the same values. Couples need to understand their values and see that they match each other’s and also see that they can manage with their differences.
However, people really have to give it a lot of thought if they’re dating a person whose faith is different. They should give the relationship plenty time so they’ll get to develop a strong mutual understanding. They’ve got to put more thought into it to be sure this person is the sort of person they’ll get on well with and be happy with even with the religious difference.
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A lot of people don’t think these things matter at first, but as the marriage progresses and they grow in their faith, they feel more strongly about it and tend to want their partner to join them in practising their faith. So this is something that prospective interfaith couples need to think thoroughly about.
Ultimately, a lot of Christian-Christian marriages fail and a lot of Muslim-Muslim marriages fail too. So marrying someone of one’s faith doesn’t guarantee anything. You’ll still have to work things out in the marriage and deal with problems pretty much the same way you would if you were married to someone of your faith.
Then let’s not forget that parents are influential here too. Some parents are okay with their child marrying someone who doesn’t practise their religion, but some others take this religion thing seriously. They may even seem to accept at first, but at some point they’ll start asking questions about why their child’s spouse isn’t going to church (or mosque) like they do, or why their grandchildren aren’t practising their own religion. You know that sort of thing.
But it’s really interesting to know that some people would turn down a good person who wants to marry them just because the person worships God in a way that’s different from theirs. It’s discriminatory and perhaps one day this sort of thing wouldn’t be such a big deal anymore.
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Anyhow, a lot of interfaith marriages go on to succeed despite the initial scepticism from families, friends and even the couples themselves. When two people want to be together and love each other, all other things can be worked out. Love’s stronger than faith. We may argue about it, but we can’t change the fact.