The Headline About Her Son That Made Hilary Duff Cringe

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Parents are constantly shamed for their choices. From how we feed our children to how we educate them, everyone has an opinion. The result? Moms and dads feel endlessly judged for the choices they make — even if they have no other options. This week, families around the country are sharing their inspiring, funny, honest, and heartbreaking stories with Yahoo Parenting in an effort to spark conversations, a little compassion, and change in the way we think about parenting forever. Share your story with us — #NoShameParenting.
Sisters Hilary and Haylie Duff know what it’s like to feel judged — both have been in the public eye since they were kids, acting in movies and TV shows, topping the pop charts, and landing in plenty of paparazzi shots along the way. But now the one-time child stars have grown up and are parenting kids of their own — Hilary is mom to 3-year-old Luca, with ex-husband Mike Comrie, and Haylie welcomed her daughter Ryan, with fiancé Matt Rosenberg, in May. Now the siblings and best friends have teamed up with Similac to form the Sisterhood of Motherhood in an effort to end the dreaded mommy wars. The Duffs talk with Yahoo Parenting about the times they felt mommy-shamed (including one headline about her son that Hilary will probably never forget), how they tune out the haters, and the moment they caught themselves judging another mom.
We at Yahoo Parenting are really trying to do what we can to stop all the parent shaming, which I know you guys are too. Why is it so important?
Hilary: Being a mom of a 3-year-old, and with Haylie being a new mom, it was surprising to see how often and how heavily you feel judged for the littlest things. For example, I felt judged when I decided to start supplementing with formula after seven months, or when we got my son vaccinated or put him on antibiotics for an ear infection. People were like, “You should really try oil remedies.” Other moms can be so heavy-handed with advice, so my sister and I were excited to encourage other moms be positive with one another and end mommy wars. It’s a bigger conversation than just us.
One thing I love about this campaign with Similac is that it’s not just about the judgment you feel but also the judgment you are putting out there. It makes you responsible for what you’re saying to other people. We need to shift our focus to raising healthy and happy babies, instead of concentrating on which mom is doing what.
 It’s hard enough to be a parent. It’s the most joyous thing you’ll do and also the most challenging. I think it’s really isolating — everything just changes so quickly. Your life is not your life anymore. I put so much pressure on myself to do everything right, and so do all mothers. We think we should have all the answers — we need to breastfeed perfectly or discipline perfectly —  but there are challenges every day. I had a baby so young that none of my friends had children. So I had to learn that no one way is going to work for every single family or every child; it’s about staying in your lane and doing what works for your kids.


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