Officials announced Sunday that bid opponents won with 51.6 percent of the vote, with 48.4 percent in favor. Government spokeswoman Christiane Wirtz says Merkel "took note of the results of the vote in Hamburg, and the chancellor finds this decision regrettable but of course she respects the will of the people."
Wirtz told reporters in Berlin on Monday that "that's why referendums are held: to find out what the population wants, and obviously Hamburgers don't want the Olympics."

The court delayed the verdict for the third and chief suspect in the case due to a last-minute insanity plea, sparking claims that Israel is too lenient with Jewish assailants. The court found the two Israeli minors guilty of killing Mohammed Abu Khdeir, who was kidnapped, beaten unconscious and then burned alive in July 2014. Their names were not released under Israeli law. The sentencing of the two is expected in mid-January.
The delay of the verdict for suspected ringleader Yosef Haim Ben David, 31, infuriated many Palestinians, who contend that Israel is too lenient on Jewish offenders while dealing harshly with Palestinians.
The developments could also further increase Israeli-Palestinian tensions amid a two-month wave of violence that has convulsed the region. Abu Khdeir's father Hussein denounced the proceedings. "This is a lie," he told Israeli Army Radio. "I am afraid that the court will release them in the end."
An aide to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas said it was "unprecedented" for the court to accept the insanity plea the day of the verdict, rather than during the subsequent appeal. "This development shows that the first defendant in this case will be either acquitted or gets a mitigation excuse," Ahmad Rwaidi said.
In his ruling, Judge Jacob Zaban determined that Ben David and the two minors snatched Abu Khdeir off an east Jerusalem sidewalk in July 2014 and burned him alive in a forest west of the city. The judge found that Ben David drove the car while the two youths beat Abu Khdeir unconscious in the back seat. Once they reached the forest, one accomplice helped Ben David douse Abu Khdeir with gasoline. Then Ben David lit the match, according to Zaban.
The three suspects were arrested shortly after the July 2, 2014 abduction and confessed to the killing to investigators with Israel's Shin Bet, the security agency said. According to the agency, the three said that Abu Khdeir's slaying was in revenge for the abduction and killing of three Israeli teens — Eyal Yifrah, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Fraenkel — by Hamas operatives in the West Bank.
The deaths of the three Israelis triggered an Israeli crackdown on Hamas in the West Bank. Hamas responded with rocket fire on Israel from the Gaza Strip, which it controls. The confrontation escalated into a 50-day war in which more than 2,200 Palestinians, the majority of them civilians, were killed, according to U.N. figures. On the Israeli side, 73 people were killed, most of them soldiers.

3.50 p.m. Turkey's Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoglu says the country's summit with European Union leaders marks a new beginning in relations between the two countries. Davutoglu says the summit Sunday would make for a sea change in relations, even if EU leaders are specifically looking for more help from Ankara to deal with the refugee crisis.
"Together, we will be sharing the destiny of our continent," he said on his arrival. "I am thankful to all European leaders for this new beginning, which is not just a beginning of a meeting but the beginning of a new process, which is very important for the future of our common bond in Europe," he said.
3:30 p.m.
Belgium's prime minister says Turkey cannot receive a "blank check" from the EU to help it handle roughly 2 million Syrian refugees in the country.
Charles Michel spoke to reporters Sunday ahead of a European Union summit with Turkey focusing on hundreds of thousands of Syrian, Afghan, Iraqi and other migrants streaming into the bloc.
Europe's leaders were expected to offer Turkey 3 billion euros ($3.2 billion), easing of visa restrictions and fast-tracking of its EU membership process.
Michel says he isn't ready to free up Belgian money and encouraged Ankara to give Syrians greater access to Turkey's labor market.

The second night of Abuja Fashion Week took place on Thursday, November 26. It was hosted by Pulse TV’s Blacky.
Among the guests for the night were Chocolate City’s D.J Lambo and Loose Kaynon, Hausa rapper Morell and U.K fashion blogger Habiba DaSilva of Life Long Percussion.
Check Out What M.I, Jesse Jagz Were Doing In Abuja
The night’s runway kicked off with B.U.G’s line of kaftans, followed by G Nation, Kulture Shock and Lurienobent, whose collection featured elegant dresses.
Before the final designer of the night, there was an impromptu freestyle performance by Chocolate City rapper Loose Kaynon. Kaynon was brought onto the stage by D.J Lambo who also made an impromptu performance at the turntables by Blacky. The crowd was certainly hyped when Kaynon finally got to rapping appeasing the crowd for having to wait briefly for a performance. See How Newly Wed Nollywood Actress Inks First Endorsement Deal In Style
The final designer of the night was Rima Courture who presented her loevely agbaya collection. The show was closed with a performance by Morell known for his ability to rap in both Hausa and English.


Some pictures from Day 1  featuring Tunurlz, Juwairah, Jummy Giwa, BZ Design and Karen closed out the night with her Diamen label.

Agenda for New Nigeria (ANN), a watchdog and non-profit making organisation has described as both defeatist and poorly conceived, attempts by some establishment persons to sling mud on the person and office of the Director-General of the Industrial Training Fund (ITF), Mrs. Juliet Chukkas-Onaeko.
Describing the development as informed by an insensate and insensitive local politics of gender, ethnicity and religion, President of the organisation, Dr. Sam Abubakar, said the torrent of attacks against the ITF DG is a reflection of the poor mentality of underdevelopment and “na we get am” psychology of her attackers.
“A series of sponsored articles have been flying around lately, attacking both the person and office of the DG over alleged corruption in the region of billions. The attacks, which are believed to being sponsored by unions and groups within the organisations as well as persons alleged to have interest in her job had said the ITF under the new DG, who assumed office last year stinks of corruption,” the group said.
 Buhari Urged To Prosecute Pension Looters
But Abubakar, who claimed to have been compelled to react to the development for factors of truth and reason about the leadership of Chukkas-Onaeko at ITF said: “It is only a people, who are averse to change and determined to retain a stinking status quo of squalor and underdevelopment that would go all out against an otherwise innocent, innovative and hard working woman.
“First, the problem is that a majority of these people feel because they are from Plateau State and consider the ITF a local patrimony, they reckon it should be manned by one of them. But they have failed in their inanity to address the fact that ITF has remained backward and in obscurity for the same reasons and yet, they seem comfortable with it.
“Second, they are yet to come to terms with the fact that a woman is the DG and therefore, having to be subservient to a woman is in a sense, a thing of pride they are still battling to accept in their head. Third, the fact that she is also a Christian is another factor they have been mobilising against her without recourse to the benefits of her transformational leadership which is fast blazing trail at ITF.
“This notwithstanding, we are confident in the fact that no one of sane mind, who has been following the leadership of Chukkas-Onaeko at ITF and the degree of transparency with which she has held down so far would reckon with the swirling insanity in some of the unscrupulous news platforms lately. We are with her and we will stand by her because it is these same fault lines that have destroyed the fabrics of the unity and trust of this country that they are trying to ride on to achieve an aimless objective,” he said.
Dismissing some of the allegations against her as concocted, Abubakar said “The issue of the 400 illegally employed staff was not even her call as it had been done and concluded before she assumed office in 2014. The property they claimed was inflated had been in the works for over three years, obviously for same reason and at a cost she could not relate with until she came and saved the organisation of some N400 million before the deal pulled through.
“Although they did not specify, however, allegations of being fingered in scam cannot exist in a vacuum and we are yet to lay our hands on any. But here is a DG, who noticed a curious transaction to the tune of N14 million by a staff, when it should have been N4 million and ordered the entire process cancelled immediately. What this presupposes is that if she could weigh in heavily on a N14 million curious transaction you can be sure you would not find her anywhere near the billions they are peddling.
How PMB Is Shielding Corrupt Politicians – Tunji Braithwaite While noting that the leadership of President Muhammadu Buhari is not one to haste into decision-making or act on mere hearsay, he said, “This is why we are using this medium to warn those, who are clandestinely behind this mindless attack and preconceived character assassination of an innocent woman.
“It is in their interest and that of their career to desist from further attacking the innocent because the next time we come across any such attacks, we shall react by mentioning names and positions as well as what role is being played by who. Chukkas-Onaeko does not deserve this and these ungodly lots know as much if at all they still have a residual of dignity and conscience in their hearts cast in stone,” he said.

President Muhammadu Buhari, who is currently in Malta, has asked the formation of a Commonwealth committee to supervise the rendering of bigger assistance and support to Nigeria that has been suffered from the Boko Haram terror attacks.
Nigerian leader was speaking at a banquet hosted by Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II for Heads of State and Government participating in the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting.
Buhari hoped that the commission would have been launched before the next meeting of the body.
Nigerian president stated that he also expects the committee to visit member-countries of the Commonwealth where terror groups have constituted a combat zone with a view to develop practical strategies for more substantive assistance to the affected countries.
President Buhari advised the Commonwealth to display greater resolve in assisting Nigeria and other developing nations in its ranks to defeat the problems of economic development, security, terrorism and corruption.
He said: “With the improvement of global communications, terrorism has no borders now. What happened recently in France had a profound effect on all of us, but very few countries realize that Nigeria has suffered terrorist casualties of over 10,000 killed in the last six years.
“Right now, we have over two million internally displaced persons, most of whom are women and children, and most of the children are orphans.”
“We have agreed to a joint task-force for the elimination of Boko Haram, but it may not be easy, especially after the events in Libya when trained people with weapons moved back to Sahel region from where they were recruited by the former Libyan leader.
“Those weapons and expertise in their use are now aggravating the situation in the Sahel and further south,” President Buhari stated.
While calling for greater international support for Nigeria the leader of the nation expressed his government’s appreciation of the helping already being received from the Commonwealth, Britain, the Group of Seven Industrialized Nations, France and the United States.
President Buhari added: “I am grateful to Britain, France and the United States. They have already sent teams to train the Nigeria Military and Police in the control of terrorism.
“The Commonwealth has helped us in so many ways by the visible support they have been giving to help us overcome the problem of terrorism.”
Buhari, who came to power in May, has made crushing the six-year rebellion a priority and in August gave his military commanders until the year-end to defeat the Islamists.

Buhari Reveals Those He’ll Punish In Education Sector Most others who apply to university but don’t make it also decide to spend the year learning a vocation before they re-sit the UTME the following year.
Bimbo finished secondary school last year. She says: “I didn’t apply straight to university after my SSCE, so I decided to spend my gap year learning a craft or two. So then I learned bag making last year. Then this year I applied to university and I’ve now been admitted. So I’m starting school in January.”
Dotun is another student like that. “I’ve always been dexterous. I’ve always liked to do stuff with my hands. So when I finished school this year, I wrote the UTME too but I didn’t meet the cut-off in the school I chose. So I’m resitting the UTME next year, but I’m learning graphic design and programming at the moment,” he explained.
Twenty-year-old Bimbo said revealed that she has to engage in something that would fetch her some money.
She said: “I think I made the right decision, because when I start school I’ll be able to make some money for myself by making bags for students on campus. That way I won’t have to rely on my parents for everything I need. I think it will also help me when I finish school.
“You know jobs are scarce and graduates often have trouble finding work. So I’ll have an alternative when I finish school. I can either look for a job or decide to set up my own business if that doesn’t work out. That’s my backup plan.”
Adeola has a diploma and currently works as an assistant at a salon where she’s learning to make hair.
She said: “I plan to spend the next one year learning at this salon, then apply to university the year after. I think this will prepare me better for the future. I figure when I go to school I’ll still have to learn a craft at some point and not just depend on the certificate. So why not learn it now and get it out of the way?”
 Obasanjo To Receive Doctor Of Science Degree
Many students in tertiary schools are also turning to crafts to prepare for life after school and plan for a possible career. Many graduates who can’t get a suitable job are taking up crafts too.

Demonstrators stood shoulder to shoulder in a cold drizzling rain to turn the traditional start of the holiday shopping season on Michigan Avenue's Magnificent Mile into a high-profile platform from which to deliver their message: The killing of 17-year-old Laquan McDonald — captured on a squad-car video made public earlier this week — was another example of what they say is the systemic disregard police show for the lives and rights of black people.
They chanted "16 shots! 16 shots!" and stopped traffic for blocks to express their anger over the Oct. 20, 2014, shooting and the subsequent investigation, which they say was mishandled. While shoppers continued to make their way along sidewalks and the empty street, some major retailers were forced to close, at least temporarily. Among them was the typically swamped Apple store, where dozens of employees in red shirts stood in an otherwise empty two-story space and watched through store windows as protesters linked arms to stop anyone from entering.
It was the largest demonstration in Chicago's streets since police on Tuesday released the video under a court order to make it public. The footage shows McDonald jogging down a street and then veering away from Officer Jason Van Dyke and another officer who emerge from a police SUV drawing their guns. Within seconds, Van Dyke begins firing. McDonald, who authorities allege was carrying a three-inch knife and was suspected of breaking into cars, spins around and falls to the pavement as Van Dyke keeps shooting.
Prosecutors charged Van Dyke with first-degree murder on Tuesday, hours before the video's release. Frank Chapman, 73, of Chicago, said the video confirms what activists have said for years about Chicago police brutality.
"That needs to end," Chapman said. "Too many have already died." Chicago police blocked off roads to accommodate the march down Michigan Avenue, and officers in some areas formed a barrier of sorts between protesters and stores and helped shoppers get through the doors. But protesters succeeded in blocking main entrances on both sides of the street for more than three blocks.
When one person tried to get through the front door of Saks Fifth Avenue, protesters screamed at him, shouting, "Shut it down! Shut it down." Entrances were also blocked at the Disney Store, the Apple Store, Nike, Tiffany & Co., and Neiman Marcus, among others.
Several protesters were seen lying face-down on the ground in handcuffs. A police spokesman says there were three arrests during the demonstration, two of them traffic related and the third resulted from a battery, but he didn't elaborate.

"There's a pretty substantial shield of rain extending from parts of Texas across a lot of Oklahoma and into the mid-Mississippi Valley," said John Hart, a meteorologist with the Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma.
The National Weather Service issued ice storm warnings in the Texas Panhandle and central Oklahoma that will remain in effect through noon Saturday, with up to a quarter or half-inch of ice expected to accumulate.
Oklahoma Department of Transportation spokesman Cody Boyd said road crews had been applying salt and sand since Thursday night, noting that roads there were slick and hazardous. "It is really a weather event with a lot of different aspects," Boyd said Friday. "We definitely understand that people travel to see family and friends (for Thanksgiving), and have to travel back home. If people have to travel ... plan plenty of extra travel time and check conditions before they head out."
Freezing rain and strong winds have been blamed for several fatal accidents in Kansas and Texas since Thursday. The eastern half of Kansas is under a winter weather advisory until Saturday morning, with freezing rain and sleet expected.
No highways in the Texas Panhandle and South Plains were closed despite the icy conditions, but about 100 crashes had been reported as of Friday evening, said Trooper Cindy Barkley of the Texas Department of Public Safety office in Amarillo. She advised motorists to slow down, noting that state troopers "see people passing us all the time. It's so frustrating."
Forecasters have issued flash-flood watches and warnings from northeast Texas, eastern Oklahoma, southern Missouri and most of Arkansas. In North Texas, three people died after their cars were washed away in rapid floodwaters. At least one other person remained missing early Saturday, as conditions were too dangerous to search for a 70-year-old woman whose car was swept off a bridge in Fort Worth. A local sheriff's deputy was swept away trying to rescue her, but a dive team later found and rescued the deputy, who was clinging to a tree.

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Gone are the throngs of frenzied shoppers camping out for days ahead of the big sales bonanza on the day after Thanksgiving. And forget the fisticuffs over flat-screen TVs. Instead, stores around the country had sparse parking lots, calm, orderly lines, and modest traffic. Black Friday, which traditionally is the biggest shopping day of the year, almost looked like a normal shopping day. And not every shopper was happy about that.
In Denver, for instance, Susan Montoya had nearly an entire Kmart to herself Friday morning. Montoya half-heartedly flipped through a rack of girls' holiday party dresses and looked down the store's empty aisles.
"There's no one out here!" she said. "This is sad." Black Friday for decades was a rite of passage for U.S. shoppers. Many would spend Thanksgiving evening combing through circulars to plot their shopping route for the next day based on the deals they hoped to snag.
But in recent years, retailers have started offering mega-discounts in stores and online earlier instead of waiting until Black Friday. And in the last few years, they've opened locations on Thanksgiving Day, a once-sacred holiday from retail.
That has led to the "graying" of Black Friday. In fact, according to the National Retail Federation, the nation's largest retail trade group, nearly 60 percent of shoppers had already started holiday buying by Nov. 10.
Early numbers aren't out yet, but the retail group expected about 30 million people shopped on Thanksgiving and 99.7 million on Black Friday. It also expects about 135.8 million people will be shopping during the four-day weekend, compared with 133.7 million last year.
The group estimates overall sales for November and December will rise 3.7 percent to $630.5 billion compared with last year. Judging from the crowds so far, though, the shopper numbers could be hard to come by. "The frenzy and traffic levels were subdued," said Craig Johnson, president of Customer Growth Partners, a retail consultancy.

Stephen Curry scored 41 points in three quarters and the Warriors made a franchise-record 22 3-pointers (in 38 attempts) during their highest-scoring game of the season, a 135-116 rout of the Phoenix Suns on Friday night.
Golden State fell one shy of the NBA record for 3s set by Orlando on March 9, 2009, and matched by Houston, against the Warriors, on Feb. 5, 2013. The offensive deluge came three days after Golden State set the league record at 16-0 by beating the Los Angeles Lakers.
"We have an edge," Curry said. "We love the feeling of winning and our confidence is high right now. That's the only thing that motivates us." The 3-point record could well have fallen had Curry not sat out the fourth quarter. The reigning NBA MVP made a season-high nine of his 16 tries from long range in his 14th career 40-point game, five this season.
Draymond Green had 14 points, 10 rebounds and 10 assists in his third career triple-double, two this season. The Warriors set another NBA mark by making 15 3-pointers (in 20 attempts) in the first half. Leandro Barbosa added 21 points on 8-of-9 shooting, including 5 for 5 on 3s.
"Yeah, they're a tough team to guard," Phoenix's Markieff Morris said. "They shoot 3s like layups." T.J. Warren scored a career-high 28 points for the Suns in their third straight loss and fourth in five games.
Brandon Knight and Eric Bledsoe added 21 points apiece for Phoenix. Klay Thompson scored 15 for the Warriors. "I know we shoot a lot of 3s," Golden State interim coach Luke Walton said. "They start blending together after a while. But that's the type of game it turned into. We would like to still get the ball inside and move it side to side."
Golden State jumped out to a 20-point lead in the first quarter and the Suns never got it to single digits again. Phoenix coach Jeff Hornacek lamented a lack of defense. "A team like that, who is undefeated world champs, you've got to make things tough for them," Hornacek said. "We didn't do that. Their shots were pretty much wide open."
Hornacek admired the ball movement of the Warriors. "You see several times when there is a missed shot," he said, "they get an offensive rebound, that ball is not in the offensive rebounder's hands more than a half a second and then they find Curry somewhere."
In the first half, Curry went 7 of 9 on 3s and scored 27 points. Golden State had a 75-57 lead at the break after matching its highest-scoring half in a so-far perfect season. Curry and the rest of the Warriors came out firing, scoring the game's first eight points, capped by the first of Curry's flurry of 3s. The Warriors kept hitting from long range and the last of Curry's five first-quarter 3s put Golden State up 39-19. The Warriors led 44-27 after their highest-scoring first quarter since March 25, 2011.
RAINING 3s Seven players made at least one 3-pointer for the Warriors. In the first half, Golden State shot 66 percent overall but was even better from 3-point range at 75 percent. The Warriors made 15 of 20 3s in the first half.
INJURIES The Suns lost starting center Tyson Chandler, Phoenix's major offseason signee, with a strained right hamstring in the first quarter. Golden State starting forward Harrison Barnes left in the third quarter with a sprained left ankle. X-rays were negative, Walton said, but it wasn't known how long Barnes might be out.
TIP-INS Warriors: Dating to the start of last season, including the postseason, the Warriors are 100-20. ...With eight straight wins on the road, Golden State is two shy of the franchise record set last season.
Suns: The 135 points were the most Phoenix has allowed this season and the 75 were the most in a half. ... The Warriors' 22 3s were the most ever against the Suns and 11 more than any other team has made versus Phoenix this season. ... Curry's nine 3s matched the most by a player against Phoenix.

Most  Nigerians do not remember their country’s civil war. A large majority were born years after the 30-month fight between Nigeria and the breakaway region of Biafra, which ended when the secessionists surrendered in 1970.
Yet over the past month independence protests have erupted in cities across the south-east, where the self-declared state once was. Agitators say that this time they will not be beaten. “Biafra is a country to be restored,” declares one of them. “We are determined to fight to the end.”
SEE Who Visited Nigeria For Memorial Day Of Late Biafra Leader (Video)
This is a concern for Nigeria’s new government. Secessionist organisations in Biafra have been agitating for years, but analysts reckon the scale of the current marches is unprecedented.
Superficially, they were sparked by the arrest of Nnamdi Kanu, the outspoken head of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) movement, and director of Radio Biafra, a pirate station. But the grievances run deep.
Nigeria did not exist until British colonialists drew a line around hundreds of fractious ethnic groups dominated by the Igbo in the east, the Yoruba in the west, and the Hausa-Fulani in the north.
The country’s regions have jostled for power ever since. Predominantly Igbo protesters have not forgotten that tens of thousands of their people were killed before Biafra unilaterally declared independence in 1967.
Biafra: Nnamdi Kanu’s Sister Raises Alarm
Between 1m and 3m people died during the war, many as the rebel territory was starved into defeat. In the 45 years since the war ended, they feel they have been blocked from senior political posts, denied public services, and impoverished by a post-war programme that they say auctioned off their houses and returned just £20 ($320, in today’s money) to them.
In the presidential election in March most south-easterners voted for the incumbent, Goodluck Jonathan, who comes from their region. He lost to Muhammadu Buhari, a Muslim from the north. “#NigeriaWillRot”, Mr Kanu’s radio station declared after the results were announced.

Coach Samson Siasia’s mother in the early hours of today, November 28, regained her freedom after spending close to two weeks in a kidnappers’ den.
 Siasia Names 26 For 2016 Olympics Qualifiers
Madam Ogere Siasia, 72, was kidnapped from her house in Odoni village, Sagbama local government area of Bayelsa state, by armed men who stormed the family’s house in the early hours of November 16.
However, confirming her release, an excited family spokesman Dennis Siasia, told Goal.com that the woman was released and has been moved to her village in Bayelsa state.
He said: “I sincerely thank the Nigeria Police and the DSS (Department of State Services) for their efforts in ensuring that Mama was finally released by her captors.
“My elder brother Samson Siasia was very happy to receive the news of Mama’s release and I think this will help a great deal in Samson’s concentration to the task ahead.”
Samson Siasia who is currently on national duty with the Nigeria U23 team, will be leading the team to the CAF U23 Championship in Senegal for a slot in the 2016 Olympic Games.
The Africa U-23 Cup of Nations will be played in Senegal from November 28 to December 12. Nigeria are drawn in the Group B of the U-23 Nations Cup along with Egypt, Mali and Algeria.
Butswat Asinim, the public relations officer of the Bayelsa state command of the Nigeria police also confirmed the release of the 72-year-old, Premium Times reports.
Asinim said: “Madam Beauty Siasia, who was abducted on the November, 16, was abandoned by her abductors along the East West Road, November, 28, due to hot pursuit by the Anti-Kidnapping Unit of the Police Command.
“She is hale and hearty and has been reunited with her family. The Police has intensified efforts to arrest the fleeing suspects.”
 NFF Fines Siasia, Super Eagles Assistant Coach On Standby To Take Over Dream Team Affairs
Coach Siasia had cried out that he wasn’t a rich man and there was no way he could have raised the initial N150 million naira asked for, which was later cut to N50 million then N32 million.
The abductors finally agreed to take whatever the Siasia family could offer, an amount which is said to be around N600,000. But there was, however, no confirmation if there was a deal between the family of the septuagenarian and her abductors.

 Abubakar Audu’s Death Curious – PDP
However, Audu Abubakar’s  lawyers in a letter to Naij.com tagged this story as fake.
There are allegations that the 26-year-old Nigerian woman, whose real name is unknown, is using the story as a PR move for her page.

Thanksgiving Week is upon us.

Aside from emotionally preparing yourself for the warm Merlot you'll be drinking on that train ride home to you parents after work on Wednesday night or the devastation you'll feel in line at the airport Au Bon Pain, the most important thing for you to be focusing your mental energy on is thinking of places to hide from your family this week.

Of course, it's good to be present around your family during holidays -- physically and spiritually -- but vacating yourself from this earthly realm at least once (or five times) during the four or five days you're tied to your kin is absolutely vital. Don't think of it as hiding; think of it as pressing pause on the glass-in-a-blender effect a week with your family can (momentarily) cause.
But to make things easy, I'll call it hiding.
Here are 10 perfect places to hide from your family during Thanksgiving.
1. Your room.
Don't worry about it being basic bitch 101 to seek sanctuary in your childhood bedroom -- there's nothing wrong with hiding under your comforter while drafting a text you'll never send or liking a friend's Instagram of them with their toddler niece as your mom calls up to you from downstairs. You reply to her "Yeah," even though you can't understand what she's saying.

2. A walk outside with your pet.

To find the perfect excuse to go outside to dramatically sigh or smoke a cig, get your dog (or cat), on a leash, and take 'em around the block. Even if you don't have a pet, this still applies.

3. Furnished basement.

If you're lucky enough to have a furnished basement with a giant television and a large wrap-around couch, you can make it a bonafide catacomb of seclusion -- your face lit by the gray glow of the TV screen as you watch an episode of The Nanny in the dark...at least until your dad wanders in wearing only his underwear to check the football scores.

4. Unfurnished basement.

No carpet? No problem! Damp cement floors? Fuck yeah! Don't bother turning those lights on, either. Just go on down and Blair Witch it in the corner for a few.

5. "The 7-Eleven"
Just say you're going to the 7-Eleven real quick but actually take the time to drive around the neighborhood and scream. Yep.


6. On the road alongside a moving vehicle.

Tumble out of a moving vehicle onto the street (preferably a residential road)...if you're not behind the steering wheel, it might be your only hope.

7. Air vent.

A great ego boost is to try to fit into the same one you used in high school.

8. A birdbath in your parents' backyard.
It's deeper than you think!

9. A pile of laundry.
Contort your body to match the "flow" of the laundry pile, and remain as still as you can in whatever position that is. It works! Trust me.

10. Behind a relative at the dinner table.
Pick a broad shouldered sibling or aunt mid-way through the meal, and simply squat behind them for a breather. Hopefully, with the right angle, you can pull it off -- even if it's for a second. That, or your family be too confused to say anything slash pretend like it's not happening. Just as good!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!